fruit jokes that are rather lame

        
      Once upon a time there was a girl and a boy. The boy wanted
      to marry the girl. The girl wanted to elope but the boy said,
      "No! we cantaloupe."

      Another time a wife asked her husband to fold the laundry.
      "No!" he exclaimed.
      "Honeydew!" she pleaded.

      "Is this juice?" Melanie asked.
      "No, it's watermelony." her mother replied.

      Then suddenly a prince got married to a princess! The queen
      thought they made a LOVELY pear.

      Anna went to a shopping mall and threw a penny onto the ice
      rink. Then the mall cop had to banAnna from the mall.

      James and his family were stuck in some miry mud. Then a kind
      gentleman came along and asked if they needed apple.

      Home, home on the orange. Where the deer and the antelope
      play; where seldom is heard a discouraging word. and the skies
      are not cloudy all day...

      "Do you like the color blue?" Angela asked.
      "No, I don't like blueberry much." Timothy replied.

      (the next one is a song to the tune of Marvelous Grace)

       Grapes, grapes, marvelous grapes; grapes that are soft and
       squishy within. Grapes, grapes, marvelous grapes. Grapes that
       are redder than all our skin.

       A man stole some fruit from a store, then ran away. The owner
       of the store yelled, "Where did that mangoe?!"

       READ THIS ONE ALOUD

        Doreen was squeezing Dave's neck.
      Then Dave said, "PLEASE don't squeeze my nectarine!"  (neckDoreen)

       Barry was playing in the fresh, clean straw. Then Barry's wife
       Marcia, came along and said "Get out of the strawberry!"